Passages
by Filiz Soyak
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How do you define your art?
My art is like peering into the most personal and intimate parts of myself. It’s about being human here and now, while also feeling like a well traveled soul, part of something much greater than what I can comprehend. It’s an expression of who I am, what I feel, what I believe in, what I wonder, how I think, what I care about. My work teaches me about life, and I learn about myself through my work. I shy away from defining it because that immediately puts a constraint on what it looks like, what it means to other people, and what it can be. The process is always the same - I follow my intuition and then it flows. The artwork itself has evolved and changed aesthetically many times over my lifetime, just like me. I appreciate that. |
Photo: courtesy of the artist |
It’s just like everything in this universe. Nothing stays the same or stagnant. Everything evolves over time and I am naturally curious.
Why is it important to you as artist to explore themes of identity, time, and place?
Being an artist is about asking questions and being eternally curious. These are the core themes I think about constantly. Who am I? What is my purpose here and now? Where am I? How does place impact me and how do I impact place? How do I interact with and contribute to my environment? The latter is becoming even more important to me.
As a mother I think about the future my daughter will inherit. What will the environment look like? What will life be like? What is a sustainable relationship between humans and the planet? It has to be symbiotic. I spend a lot of time in nature and I feel the healing impacts and its magic. We can learn a lot by observing. So I have been spending a lot of time thinking about the mark I make and how I can contribute to it responsibly now and play a role in healing.
As an artist, I’m interested in how I can make a positive energetic contribution, while leaving as little of a physical mark behind. And this relates to time. Is my ego okay with creating work that may not last forever? Disappearing visually or changing over time? This is exciting for me to explore because it challenges so much of what we’ve been taught about legacy and value.
Talk to us about your usage of intuitive mark-making. What is it? What does it entail?
The best state I can find myself in is one where I am not thinking and I’m just creating. I become a conduit for a greater energy to come through. I think any artist or musician can identify with this state of “flow”.
The wonderful thing is that anyone can do it. Think of a child. They pick up a tool or a material. They haven’t been taught how to use it conventionally. So they play. They explore. They test. They are curious. This is intuitive mark-making. I use intuitive mark-making in my studio practice all the time. I let go of the need to create something “good”. Something predetermined. It’s not easy. We are trained to have expectations and goals. But the practice is about releasing any attachment to what it will become and instead embrace the process of discovery and the process of birthing a mark. I play and repeat and vary until I find something that moves me. I have sheets and sheets of paper where I’ve tested and played that I never share with anyone. The work I share is probably 5% of what I have ever created, maybe less.
In my recent work I found that making repetitive marks synchronized to my breath became my meditation. It became an exercise about being present. It became less about composition and what it looked like, and more about the act of creating. Upon first glance, marks may look uniform. But the beauty is that every repetitive mark is unique. Like our breath. Like every moment in life. I love finding beauty and depth in simplicity.
How about your decision to make use of mindfulness practices such as meditation and breath? When did you embrace this way of working? What are some of the benefits of your style work?
It wasn’t necessarily a decision, it happened naturally. My creative process has always been an act of mindfulness. Getting quiet has been important and necessary for me as long as I can remember. So, I spend a lot of time in my internal world. It’s how I process, adapt and navigate life. I live and make decisions from my intuition.
When I create, I directly connect to that quiet internal place and my inner knowing becomes clear. That’s my comfortable place. As a child, it appeared that my daydreaming gravitated towards solitude. As an adult, daydreaming still happens but I have had to introduce more intentional practices like yoga and meditation to create that space.
While I’ve meditated and practiced yoga for 20+ years, I didn’t start a daily meditation practice until after my daughter was born in 2016. The early years of motherhood felt like the equivalent of being turned inside out. I was completely reborn. The early days were disorienting and overwhelming and I felt really out of touch with my intuition. There’s no handbook that comes with motherhood, but instinct does kick in. The discomfort came from all the damaging societal programming that introduces unrealistic expectations, comparison, doubt, and judgment. It took time to dismantle all the wiring that had been programmed into me (honestly...still working on that). I needed an anchoring practice to be in my body, process, reflect, and get quiet to meet and honor myself.
So, I can say that my breath paintings were born out of motherhood. The work and practice allows me to get quiet and hear my intuition. And I’m my best when I can live from that authentic place.
What are some of your current projects? Can you share a few details about each?
I took some time off and slowed down over the holidays to be more present with my family, so I’m just starting to dive back in. I enjoy working on several projects at the same time to keep my interest and curiosity. I usually have anywhere from 10-20 or more pieces in progress at a time often exploring a couple of different directions. My time in the studio varies so the good thing about this approach is that there’s always something I can jump in and work on that excites me. Aside from these works in progress, I’ve been working on several custom commission pieces for collectors, evaluating concepts of new works and experimenting with new materials. I am working on some large-scale, time-based pieces that will take months to complete. Some of these pieces will be more installation-type work and site-specific.
I am really excited to be part of a local curated arts festival called the Hudson Eye highlighting artists in Hudson this coming August and I’m working on something new for that. Last year I curated a group show of women artists around the theme “Unraveling” that I’d like to show again. Additionally, I’m working on some local community building projects that are very much in the early stages but all about bringing more visibility to artists and creatives.
Finally, I’m always juggling where to fit in the administrative and marketing elements of my work, like replying to emails, staying in touch with my collectors, documenting my work, making web updates, writing proposals and submitting applications for residencies and shows.
You keep busy showing your work and visiting galleries and art shows. What are the events/exhibitions you’ve enjoyed recently? Do you have a “Don’t Miss Event List” for the days and weeks ahead?
I moved out of New York City to Hudson Valley in 2017. The art community is much smaller here, obviously, but still very active. I often visit local gallery openings where I know at least one or more of the artists exhibiting. It feels meaningful and fulfilling to not only see new work but also support my neighbors and friends. I feel very fortunate to also have access to some incredible museums up here like MassMOCA and DIABeacon, but they do take more effort, planning and commuting.
A not-to-be-missed gem about 10 min from my home is Art Omi, a museum with an outdoor sculpture park that spans over 150 acres of land. It’s phenomenal. I take hikes there with my family throughout the year and bring my daughter there for their free educational art programming. I participated in Saatchi’s The Other Art Fair in Brooklyn in November of last year and that was a lot of fun. I will definitely consider doing that again.
However, for this year, my goal is to not overextend myself, focus on creating work, securing a residency, and lining up shows for 2021 and beyond.
Why is it important to you as artist to explore themes of identity, time, and place?
Being an artist is about asking questions and being eternally curious. These are the core themes I think about constantly. Who am I? What is my purpose here and now? Where am I? How does place impact me and how do I impact place? How do I interact with and contribute to my environment? The latter is becoming even more important to me.
As a mother I think about the future my daughter will inherit. What will the environment look like? What will life be like? What is a sustainable relationship between humans and the planet? It has to be symbiotic. I spend a lot of time in nature and I feel the healing impacts and its magic. We can learn a lot by observing. So I have been spending a lot of time thinking about the mark I make and how I can contribute to it responsibly now and play a role in healing.
As an artist, I’m interested in how I can make a positive energetic contribution, while leaving as little of a physical mark behind. And this relates to time. Is my ego okay with creating work that may not last forever? Disappearing visually or changing over time? This is exciting for me to explore because it challenges so much of what we’ve been taught about legacy and value.
Talk to us about your usage of intuitive mark-making. What is it? What does it entail?
The best state I can find myself in is one where I am not thinking and I’m just creating. I become a conduit for a greater energy to come through. I think any artist or musician can identify with this state of “flow”.
The wonderful thing is that anyone can do it. Think of a child. They pick up a tool or a material. They haven’t been taught how to use it conventionally. So they play. They explore. They test. They are curious. This is intuitive mark-making. I use intuitive mark-making in my studio practice all the time. I let go of the need to create something “good”. Something predetermined. It’s not easy. We are trained to have expectations and goals. But the practice is about releasing any attachment to what it will become and instead embrace the process of discovery and the process of birthing a mark. I play and repeat and vary until I find something that moves me. I have sheets and sheets of paper where I’ve tested and played that I never share with anyone. The work I share is probably 5% of what I have ever created, maybe less.
In my recent work I found that making repetitive marks synchronized to my breath became my meditation. It became an exercise about being present. It became less about composition and what it looked like, and more about the act of creating. Upon first glance, marks may look uniform. But the beauty is that every repetitive mark is unique. Like our breath. Like every moment in life. I love finding beauty and depth in simplicity.
How about your decision to make use of mindfulness practices such as meditation and breath? When did you embrace this way of working? What are some of the benefits of your style work?
It wasn’t necessarily a decision, it happened naturally. My creative process has always been an act of mindfulness. Getting quiet has been important and necessary for me as long as I can remember. So, I spend a lot of time in my internal world. It’s how I process, adapt and navigate life. I live and make decisions from my intuition.
When I create, I directly connect to that quiet internal place and my inner knowing becomes clear. That’s my comfortable place. As a child, it appeared that my daydreaming gravitated towards solitude. As an adult, daydreaming still happens but I have had to introduce more intentional practices like yoga and meditation to create that space.
While I’ve meditated and practiced yoga for 20+ years, I didn’t start a daily meditation practice until after my daughter was born in 2016. The early years of motherhood felt like the equivalent of being turned inside out. I was completely reborn. The early days were disorienting and overwhelming and I felt really out of touch with my intuition. There’s no handbook that comes with motherhood, but instinct does kick in. The discomfort came from all the damaging societal programming that introduces unrealistic expectations, comparison, doubt, and judgment. It took time to dismantle all the wiring that had been programmed into me (honestly...still working on that). I needed an anchoring practice to be in my body, process, reflect, and get quiet to meet and honor myself.
So, I can say that my breath paintings were born out of motherhood. The work and practice allows me to get quiet and hear my intuition. And I’m my best when I can live from that authentic place.
What are some of your current projects? Can you share a few details about each?
I took some time off and slowed down over the holidays to be more present with my family, so I’m just starting to dive back in. I enjoy working on several projects at the same time to keep my interest and curiosity. I usually have anywhere from 10-20 or more pieces in progress at a time often exploring a couple of different directions. My time in the studio varies so the good thing about this approach is that there’s always something I can jump in and work on that excites me. Aside from these works in progress, I’ve been working on several custom commission pieces for collectors, evaluating concepts of new works and experimenting with new materials. I am working on some large-scale, time-based pieces that will take months to complete. Some of these pieces will be more installation-type work and site-specific.
I am really excited to be part of a local curated arts festival called the Hudson Eye highlighting artists in Hudson this coming August and I’m working on something new for that. Last year I curated a group show of women artists around the theme “Unraveling” that I’d like to show again. Additionally, I’m working on some local community building projects that are very much in the early stages but all about bringing more visibility to artists and creatives.
Finally, I’m always juggling where to fit in the administrative and marketing elements of my work, like replying to emails, staying in touch with my collectors, documenting my work, making web updates, writing proposals and submitting applications for residencies and shows.
You keep busy showing your work and visiting galleries and art shows. What are the events/exhibitions you’ve enjoyed recently? Do you have a “Don’t Miss Event List” for the days and weeks ahead?
I moved out of New York City to Hudson Valley in 2017. The art community is much smaller here, obviously, but still very active. I often visit local gallery openings where I know at least one or more of the artists exhibiting. It feels meaningful and fulfilling to not only see new work but also support my neighbors and friends. I feel very fortunate to also have access to some incredible museums up here like MassMOCA and DIABeacon, but they do take more effort, planning and commuting.
A not-to-be-missed gem about 10 min from my home is Art Omi, a museum with an outdoor sculpture park that spans over 150 acres of land. It’s phenomenal. I take hikes there with my family throughout the year and bring my daughter there for their free educational art programming. I participated in Saatchi’s The Other Art Fair in Brooklyn in November of last year and that was a lot of fun. I will definitely consider doing that again.
However, for this year, my goal is to not overextend myself, focus on creating work, securing a residency, and lining up shows for 2021 and beyond.
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Who are some contemporary artists whose body of work is a source of inspiration to you?
This may not be the answer you are looking for but I am inspired by anything or anyone who moves me at that moment in time...moves me to tears, gives me goosebumps, makes me wonder or see things from a new perspective, stirs my heart or gives me butterflies. And it frequently changes.
I get bored looking at or listening to the same thing. If you looked at my music playlists for example, you would understand. I listen to everything from anytime, from cinematic orchestral pieces, experimental jazz, contemporary pop, to electronic, soul, rock, and traditional indigenous music. It depends on the day, my mood, where I am in life. So, I make a point to never get too attached to anyone or any style.
Inspiration is everywhere. It’s inevitable that as artists we will reference other works. But I think it is really important that as an artist to find your own way to express what you need to say. A good friend of mine, who is a talented artist, told me she avoids looking at other artists’ work when seeking inspiration. Especially today with Instagram it’s too easy to get sucked into a place where you’re saving whatever you like.. Inevitably that will make its way into your work and I think it takes away from your own voice.
Inspiration for my work comes from everywhere and often doesn’t come from other artists. I will find it in nature, in a song, in a moment, an emotion, a memory, a piece of textile, an interaction with a person, or a poem.
Looking at your series titled Nagori, we have to find out from you what childhood memories have guided you throughout your adult life?
I have moved around and traveled a lot since I was very young. I have a hard time staying put anywhere for too long. I grew up in Belgium and Japan and would visit family in Sweden and Turkey annually. My parents loved to travel, too, so I feel grateful for the exposure I have had to multiple cultures, and I am grateful for the mobility I’ve had to explore. This access has greatly influenced how I see and perceive the world.
As an adult I lived in Jordan and then moved to Barbados shortly thereafter before ending up in NYC. The culture shock I experienced in the transition to all three places was very difficult at times, but mostly it was thrilling. I enjoy the challenge of navigating that discomfort. It pushes me to adapt in a good way. In addition, it’s taught me how much history and where we come from matter.
The series Nagori is all about honoring the memories and energies of a place and inter-generational moments in time. We are so defined by memories of places we have been. Nagori is a Japanese word that translates to ‘relic, remainder from the past’. Much of my work that I made prior to 2014 was about past and current life memories - honoring history, old souls, and thinking about how memories are stored.
I have always been drawn to places that feel rich with texture and stories from the many lives who have interacted with or passed through them. I wonder what memories about a place or event look for the different people that carry them...in this lifetime, and through past lives.
How would you describe your series UNU SPIRO?
Unu Spiro is a series of paintings created by and with my breath. Unu Spiro translates to “one breath” from Esperanto, a language that was designed to unite the world but is not spoken by many.
Each mark is made in synchronicity with a full cycle of breath. I use sumi (charcoal based) ink and water. Every painting is a meditation. It’s a body of work that has captured the present moment over time. The work has been more about the process than the resulting painting. The work began at the start of motherhood for me.
Over time, the marks came to represent beings and relationships, like me, or me and my daughter, or me and my husband. You can understand each story from the titles. I added gold or silver leaf on some pieces to highlight the imperfections in a mark. The Japanese aesthetic philosophy wabi-sabi, celebrates the imperfections of life. Specifically, using gold to fill a crack is called kintsugi. It’s about drawing our eye to, and celebrating the very imperfections, which we are taught to cover up or discard in Western culture.
Thus, Unu Spiro is about celebrating life as it is, being present, and cherishing the simple moments.
What are your definitions of present, desire and clarity?
Present - now, this fleeting uniquely divine moment that will never happen this exact way ever again.
Desire - what my heart wants
Clarity - seeing and understanding truth
Do you have any time management formulas to the make the most of your time and find fulfillment in your roles as a mother, wife, artist, friend…
Oh gosh, this is a constant challenge! We’ve been sold a false understanding about balance. Balance means that something has to give. You cannot have it all, all the time. It’s not possible.
Every day I am all the things...a mom, spouse, artist, daughter, sister, friend, citizen.
I have found that spending time setting and reflecting on intentions helps me a lot. When I’m clear on what is important to me, I can prioritize.
Each day of the week is different. On days when my daughter is home with me, I put my time with her first. The days when she’s in school I jam it all in. A little self care could mean taking a walk, meeting a friend, or sitting outside, combined with housekeeping, errands, and time working in my studio.