Text, Don't Call
by Aaron Caycedo-Kimura
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Dear INFJoe, Thank you for the beautiful gift of your upcoming book, Text, Don’t Call. It is funny, genuine and very smart. We enjoyed reading it and really love your cartoons. Please take a look at the following questions we have prepared for you: What’s the place that introverts take in today’s world, INFJoe? Introverts make up at least one third of the population. Some say as much as one half. We may not always be understood, but we’re everywhere, quietly observing, processing, and contributing behind the scenes—sometimes right out in front. Based on your experiences and observations, how has the definition and characterization of introverts changed and evolved in recent years? In recent years, I think there’s been more of an understanding of what introversion really is. The subject has certainly come to the forefront on social media. But in my daily offline life, I find it’s still very common for people to think of introversion as being shy, antisocial, or just plain odd. Shyness is insecurity or fear of social embarrassment, and the word “antisocial” describes someone who has hostile or harmful feelings toward society. Although some introverts can be shy or antisocial, introversion itself is really a natural preference that has to do with where you direct your energy (inward), how you recharge (usually by being alone), and the level of outside stimulation you’re comfortable with (less is more). It’s not a weakness to overcome or something to be fixed. It’s just how some of us are wired. |
Photo by Luisa Caycedo-Kimura |
Why is social media important in the life of an introvert?
I can think of two main reasons. The first is that social media spreads information quickly, including information about introversion. Introverts can easily learn about themselves (that they’re not weird or defective just because they’re wired this way) and educate others by sharing this information. The second is that social media is a great way for introverts to connect with others and socialize in a manner that’s lower in stimulation than face-to-face contact. You can control the amount of interaction you have and do it in the comfort of your favorite introvert environment. It’s a great way to meet and mutually encourage other introverts, which helps to remind us that we’re not alone.
Where are some of the best spots to let introverts revel in their own thoughts and dreams?
The best spots are places of solitude, or at least environments without many distractions or interruptions. Every introvert has his or her own favorite locales. Some like long walks on the beach or a hike in the mountains. Others like libraries or bookstores. I love my home office, my studio, and not too noisy cafés.
INFJoe, what motivated you to write Text, Don’t Call?
Text, Don’t Call began back in January 2013 when I created my online persona, INFJoe, and began posting cartoons on the Internet. Growing up as an introvert and, in particular, an INFJ (my Myers-Briggs type) was incredibly difficult for me. With these cartoons, I wanted to encourage others like me who were feeling odd or out of place. Since the online series was so well received, I decided to put a printed collection together to reach a wider audience. I want as many introverts as possible to know that they are not alone and that introversion is not a defect, but rather a matter of natural wiring.
I can think of two main reasons. The first is that social media spreads information quickly, including information about introversion. Introverts can easily learn about themselves (that they’re not weird or defective just because they’re wired this way) and educate others by sharing this information. The second is that social media is a great way for introverts to connect with others and socialize in a manner that’s lower in stimulation than face-to-face contact. You can control the amount of interaction you have and do it in the comfort of your favorite introvert environment. It’s a great way to meet and mutually encourage other introverts, which helps to remind us that we’re not alone.
Where are some of the best spots to let introverts revel in their own thoughts and dreams?
The best spots are places of solitude, or at least environments without many distractions or interruptions. Every introvert has his or her own favorite locales. Some like long walks on the beach or a hike in the mountains. Others like libraries or bookstores. I love my home office, my studio, and not too noisy cafés.
INFJoe, what motivated you to write Text, Don’t Call?
Text, Don’t Call began back in January 2013 when I created my online persona, INFJoe, and began posting cartoons on the Internet. Growing up as an introvert and, in particular, an INFJ (my Myers-Briggs type) was incredibly difficult for me. With these cartoons, I wanted to encourage others like me who were feeling odd or out of place. Since the online series was so well received, I decided to put a printed collection together to reach a wider audience. I want as many introverts as possible to know that they are not alone and that introversion is not a defect, but rather a matter of natural wiring.
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Why is this book a fun read even for extroverts?
I hope it will indeed be a fun and humorous read for extroverts. With up to 50% of the population being introverted, extroverts are likely to have at least one or two introverts in their relationship circles. I hope extroverts will recognize their introverts in the pages of my book and learn to better understand and relate to them. They may also see themselves in many of the cartoons. I think these are some of the reasons I have a number of extroverts who already follow my cartoons on social media.
What is the best advice on how to love and live with introverts?
It’s the same advice I would give to love and live with anyone. Respect and accept who they are, don’t try to “fix” them. Appreciate them for who they were meant to be. There’s so much to love about introverts!
Your suggestions on how to manage life as an introvert are fantastic. Have you tested everything you list in the book or is the book a collection of ideas and stories of other fellow introverts?
All my suggestions for navigating life as an introvert are based on my personal experience. Ideas for the cartoons themselves, however, come not only from my life, but also from the experiences of other introverts, and sometimes just crazy stuff I dream up. Some of my family members and friends appear in these cartoons, either as caricatures or as the inspirations behind the illustrations. And of course, my wife and I are sprinkled in there as well.
There are a number of examples in your book, which reflect the many difficulties introverts face in the work place. How do introverts succeed at their jobs knowing that being good “at work” is not the only requirement?
Having a good work ethic and doing your job well is most important, of course. But if you work closely with other people, it’s necessary to develop good interpersonal skills. You also have to know yourself well enough to know what you can handle and what you can’t. Sometimes it may be a good idea to go out with co-workers after work once in a while if your energy level allows.
Do you believe that introverts should avoid all self-help books that push them to change their ways? Why or why not?
I believe that being introverted or extroverted is a matter of temperament and that you’re wired as such from birth. I don’t believe you can change that. Behavior, however, is another matter. If “their ways” are unhealthy psychological or behavioral habits, by all means transform and get healthy. If there are things you wish to overcome, like shyness or lack of confidence, or things you want to improve upon, like social skills, it’s important to stretch and grow. But if a book is telling you to do things that go against your fundamental temperament and leave you feeling more exhausted and irritable, I think you should avoid it.
Are you planning a promotional book tour in August or will there be online sessions instead?
In true introvert fashion, I will be having a book launch event online. Everyone’s invited! I’ll be hosting a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) on August 15, 2017, at 2pm ET. I look forward to “seeing” everyone there!
Also, follow INFJoe on Twitter @INFJoe, Instagram and Facebook @infjoecartoons
Excerpted from TEXT, DON’T CALL: An Illustrated Guide to the Introverted Life by Aaron Caycedo-Kimura with the permission of TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright© 2017 by Aaron T. Caycedo-Kimura